PSY belief
Beliefs -> focus-> change -> goal setting
Beliefs¶
例子:Roger Bannister,首位历史上4分钟跑1英里的人。当时从医学/生物学上证明是不可能的。
信念为什么不是一种神秘主义?belief Vs. illusion
olc: 中学的失败刻骨铭心。
忽略事实的部分很容易,即使它就在我们面前。
The power of the situation¶
例子:斯坦福监狱实验: obdient to the authority
Question: how to create a positive situation whether consciously or unconsciously to bring out the best of ourselves?
Ans: priming with positive words.
problem: is the message right? 常常言过其实,收效甚微,尽管看起来振奋人心(比如:“Whether you think you can or can’t—you are right” Henry Ford)
- Coexist with hard work, persistence and failures.
- Self efficacy: malleable
- Self-esteem: belief in ourselves
mind is powerful. 不是说外在因素没有影响,而是思想的力量同样很强大。
Beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies¶
How beliefs impact our performance?
- Motivation inconsistency
- 理想和现实存在差距。
- when there is discrepancy or inconsistency between reality and ideal?
- Update schema
- Ignore/discard the information
- actively seek confirmation
- Create a new reality
- interpretation of performance
olc: 实习选择存在太多偏差。
Learn to fail, or fail to learn. No short cuts.
Optimism Vs. pessimism¶
悲观者设定现实的短期目标和长期目标,乐观者设定期待过高的短期目标和现实的长期目标。悲观者在表现不好时说我的期待值本来就不高,这样就足够了;在表现好时说这只是碰运气。而乐观者虽然由于设定过高的不切实际的短期目标导致表现一直不好,但他会不断反思自己从过去的经历学到了什么重新设定下一次目标,增强自己的信念。而不管需要经过多久,有足够的尝试,努力工作,失败,坚持,乐观者终究会实现自己的信念。
乐观/悲观只是不同的解释生活的态度。乐观不是盲目的对一切事情表示乐观,而是对生活中挫折的解释。
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暂时的/永久的失败。例子:比如一份被一份想要的工作拒了,看成永久的失败——我之后永远也找不到工作了;暂时的失败——这只是暂时的挫折,我能从中学到什么?比如重新锁定求职范围,找到属于自己的理想位置。
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普遍/特殊化的例子。
learn to interpret things as optimist
olc: 我竟然属于乐观者…不过中学的我非常悲观。
realistic VS. unrealistic belief¶
question: how to distinguish between realitic belief and unrealistic belief?
ans: Right evaluation of reality
question: Do high expectations lead to disappointment?
- 关心我们的人常常希望降低我们的期望,因为期待过高常意味着自尊受到打击的机会更大。
- fact:基础幸福感的水平线是一定的,生活的起伏带来的幸福感水平总会回到这一水平
action¶
Problem: how to raise the base level of happiness?
Coping Vs. avoidance
解决问题而不是逃不问题,允许自己去冒险,走出舒适区,承担失败的风险,去尝试做没做过的事情,去一个想去但在小的时候不敢去的地方。只有处理问题,解决问题能够改变现状。
我们评价自己所用的方式和评价他人一样,就是看他的行为。
事实:失败带来的痛苦其实远比想象中失败的痛苦要小的多,幸福感水平总会回到基准线附近。
problem: how to become a optimist?
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Just do it! (action)
单纯的灌输积极信息,无论是从内还是从外都无助于改善现状除非采取行动。
失败是不可避免的,我们需要给自己失败的机会。但这不是说主动搞砸一件事,而是在一件事失败后不要有太多的负担。
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Imagine that… (visualization)
Focus on journey and destination.
Mistake: focus not just on the destination.
例子:马丁路德金:我有一个梦想。
olc: 转专业面试之前我总想象着自己会流畅地度过整个流程,但结果就是支支吾吾地熬过了五分钟(这仅有的面试时间)。失败的原因是没有专门准备面试,人也不够自信,表达能力也欠缺等等,但当时开始停滞的最重要的原因是行动仍旧不够。6.009在大一下那时因为拖延症卡了一次,大二上因为基础不够又卡了一次,现在大三上的我一定要解决这门课程。
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Cognitive therapy (rational thinking)
Event -> thoughts(evaluation) -> emotion
误区1: magnify: 过度放大失败而不是把它当成进步的阶梯:one or nothing: perfectionism
误区2: minimize: tunnel vision->忽略非理性因素让自己能更理智地看待事情的全局变化
fact: emotion is personal evaluation of reality, which doesn’t reflect the reality.
Get real through the question we asked. Look out.
Reminder¶
- Optimism(believe in myself), passion(love what you do), hard work
- learn to fail, or fail to learn
有的时候沮丧让人甚至失去了行动能力,这就是我希望增强自己心理健康免疫系统的原因。
所有的一切都是为了transformation。如果只改变当前的态度,而改变后的态度却不能影响任何行动,那么所有的乐观解释不过是对过去生活的简单记录,没有任何意义。
Focus¶
How focus creates reality?
P8 32:00开始
Adaption¶
我们总是看到事物的反面的原因是我们适应于现有的生活,对好的事习以为常,而对发生的不好的事非常敏感。
Problem: 能否适应糟糕的环境同时不对积极的事物习以为常?
Problem: 是不是只有失去的时候才懂得珍惜?
Ans: learn to appreciate.
Appreciation¶
There is always something to appreciate in real. If we don’t appreciate the good things, they depreciates.
problem: what I am grateful for?
- Be grateful for everythings. What we focus on appreciates.
- Chipping away negativity
- express gratitude to ourselves and others.
Question : how to express gratitude?
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Take time to reflect
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Letter, phone, or in-person
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Regularly (weekly, bi-weekly or monthly)
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Writing helps even if letter not sent
Goal setting¶
拖延症的解决方式。今年9月初开始调整状态,到现在(12月)已经没有了超过两天的拖延。不过仍然存在因为别的事而耽搁学习的情况。
Setting goal resolves internal conflicts.
olc: 当你知道你将去哪儿,那么就会获得内心的平静。
Job -> career -> calling
Problem: what is your calling?
Ans: Listen to the inner calls which guide your direction. When we pursue our passion, when we pursue a self-concordant goal and a self-concordant journey, that’s when we become alive.
这个答案会随着时间变化,可能过了两年又是不同的样子。但是我们打开了可能性,看到的事物的真实性和自己的职责和使命。
Tips for setting goal:
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writing down
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set lifelines(not DDL): the date by which we want to achieve those certain goals
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make it specific
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Future goals as means; present experiences as ends.
设定目标的目的不是为了完成它,完成目标与否不应该影响我们情绪的好坏,更重要的是目标是为了激励我们去进行这项旅程。如果我们只关注结果而不关注过程,那么我们就不太可能取得成功。
常常出现这样的情形:设定了一个目标没有完成它,或者完成了一个目标后就没有新的目标设定。
Stress¶
P13 58:24
Too much to do -> stress(feeling overwhelmed ) -> depression
question: how to deal with distress?
Ans: take a time-out
problem: Why are so many people stressed? ->What do those who are successful and able to lead a healthy and happy life do?
Ans: Stress is fine as long as we take recovery.
Solution: take a break.
- From marathon to sprint intervals.(sprint->recovery->sprint->recovery…)
- Creating a ritual of both work and recovery: 60-120 minutes of work, 15+ minutes of recovery.
- Maintaining flexibility. 合理安排杂事。
- Take multi-level recovery.
Focus!¶
The key is focus.
例子:当你放超过一首歌时,就产生了噪音。
当多件事重叠在一起,那么再好的事情都会变糟糕。
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Recovery: Quantity affects quality
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Work: Reducing multi-tasking
- elimination is not possible.
这里的multi-task指的是在同一时间做超过一件事,比如在写作的时候关注着邮件或消息提示。
olc:在相同时间里我应该只开一项工作的网页然后关掉再开另一项工作的,之前总是开太多网页结果根本不可能在同一时间兼顾。
Simplify!¶
Do less things, the important one.
Time affluence
problem: how to lead a life with fun and functionality?
Problem: what do we really really really want to do?
Reminder¶
有趣的概念
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Self-concordant goal
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加强性格优势对应的能力
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Multi-level recovery:
- Micro (minutes, hours)
- Mezzo (nights, days)
- Macro (weeks, months)
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Optimum simplicity:找到一天最优的工作时间
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可持续发展